Here’s an excerpt from my paper so far:
“Mental illness throughout the United States is no rare phenomenon. In any given year, one in four Americans has a mental illness. The statistics are remarkable for four main types of mental illness with lifetime prevalence for depression at 16 percent, anxiety disorders at 18 percent, personality disorders at 10 percent, and schizophrenia (a potentially seriously debilitating disorder) at 1 percent. These disorders cause significant distress to the inflicted, so much that it makes daily living a challenge. Afflictions of the mind affect all areas of a person’s life, and unfortunately a person’s relationships with others. But, the fact is that mental illness is strikingly common. However, treatment can prove effective in helping those with mental disorders return to normal functioning. Treatment offers the tools and skills necessary for a person with a mental disorder to cope with their symptoms and to improve their overall social relationships. But treatment is only the first step. A person can be taught all of the skills necessary to have a successful relationship, but it has to go two ways. People with mental illness need social support for success, yet they unfortunately do not have it. Mental illness is a taboo subject in conversation. In fact, in a lot of treatment programs, doctors tell their patients not to mention their illness to other people because they know of the discrimination and stereotyping that is way too often the response. Those with mental disorders need their friends and family the most. Stigma discourages disclosure, thereby inhibiting treatment and recovery. If we want people with mental disorders to return to a normal level of functioning, we need to address the fact that they actually need support. We need to approach this situation with open arms, not judging looks. ”
This is one of the more difficult parts of my essay because it has to establish why mental illness is a prevalent issue in our society. I figured statistics would be a good way of conveying just how common mental illness is in America, but I think I can do it in a better way. I’ve certainly been struggling with tone in this paper, and how I can utilize that to my best ability in conveying factual information. Furthermore, I’m just not sure how many statistics are really necessary to prove my point. Essentially, everyone will come into contact with someone who has a mental illness at SOME point in my life (and thus this is why we need to do aware with stigma and encourage more social support). I want to try to prove that to people that may be skeptical of this fact. Overall, I really just need to focus more on my word choice and my tone in order to accomplish what I want to. I need to tone down the formality a bit and just talk to people at the “cultural” level, much like I’m trying to persuade people to do about mental illness.
Any thoughts/ideas?
(I realize I posted this late… I completely forgot to post this when I uploaded my CI blog for this week! Sorry!)